They say my mind is my own private sanctuary. Lately, I feel like it's not. It's been taken over by thoughts, conscious thoughts that's been ripping my brains apart. Sad to say that these thoughts have been impacting me: the way I think, talk, and act. If there's one thing I would like to have back, it will be my peaceful sanctuary. I want to think of the beauty of the present, how nice it is to be in his arms or how fun it is to hang out with my friends. I don't want to think of why, what if, what happened, how could it have been, and so on. These questions have been eating me up and the answers my mind has been giving me, it hunts me. I don't like thinking about the past neither about the future. I want today to be the only thought I have in my mind. I want to have a peaceful mind. I want to think about the beauty of things and people. Sometimes, I wish I can just understand every single thing. If I did, I wouldn't have thoughts of this and that. Or I wouldn't even worry about the future. Or stress about a lot of things. My thoughts are connected with my feelings. Maybe, this explains why I am so emotional. Why I cry when little things get to me. Or why I think the way I do and feel the way I do. It's clearly not the best feature I have but it makes me who I am, I guess.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that my mind is full of bull crap. I want a clear mind. I don't want to overthink and overanalyze every situation or words that were once part of a story. I just want to have a peaceful mind with beautiful thoughts.